let-r-go

i cannot say enough good things about hot yoga. it is helping me in a big way these days. i think everyone has anxiety...at least some. but i am really "special" in the anxiety department :) i have had it all my life, undiagnosed. but it's real--very real--diagnosed or not.

and if you've had anxiety, you know how tight its grip can get. if i get something in my head, it can be hours, days, even weeks of holding onto that thought or fear. and all i want to do is just let it go...let my worry wash away...but if it were only that easy. 

logical reasoning just doesn't combat anxiety. it just doesn't. finding stillness does. and that's where yoga comes in. having grown up dancing day in and day out, the idea of yoga (yes i did try it years ago) bored me. but that's because i was looking for a completely different thing. i was looking for a lot of movement, not stillness. i wanted to grow up, i wanted to move more quickly, i wanted to shine brighter, etc, etc. but now...i just want to chill out. 

hot yoga (i go to fahrenheit yoga in brentwood, tennessee) has been the best thing for me. it's not boring in the slightest. there's no time to be bored with the heat, the sweat dripping, the poses, the technique, the steady breathing, the stillness. it's hard, and it's refreshing. and i look forward to the hour where i am supposed to stop worrying about anything else besides what's right in front of me...my current pose. 

it's the time i can pray and pray in the big ways: the kind of prayer that doesn't specify everything in tiny little details...the kind of details that make you worry during the prayer because you start thinking about what you're praying about and effectively stop praying and start worrying.... make sense to you? it does to me. 

and that leads me to my final thought: i have heard all my life at all my Christian schools and churches that i need to pray often. but my Bible study leader, diane, told us that while we pray, we should pray open-endedly. instead of saying: "God, this is what I want, but You can choose between Door A or Door B. But that's all. Thanks, Amen." there could be a different door that you didn't even think of. be open! in your stillness, be open, and try not to let the minutia take over your thoughts and ultimately, your *quiet time.

have a great weekend!

ahr

*I use the stillness in yoga as a form of quiet time. 

currently reading: done

i finished Gone Girl.... definitely read it. it definitely inspired me to think outside of the box. ms. flynn (the author) gets a little crazy with her story line and it was awesome. kept me on my toes until the very end.

advice (the kind you can take or leave): try to widen your base of authors. read outside the box, if you will. i read the same ones, the safe, sweet ones...and i still love them. but every now and then, it's a good idea for me to read a little "dragon tattoo" or  now "gone girl". that's not to say to abandon your safe zone. just step outside the lines :) i did...and i'm happier for it.


:) well done, gillian flynn. well done.

ahr

currently reading:

since i am out of the woods as far as writing hundreds of pages for my own story, i have taken to reading others' novels. it's the best excuse to get to read: "um, ya i'm researching." and the funny thing is, i am. now that i call myself a writer...simply because i write more than i do anything else....i read books through a different pair of glasses than when i was younger and just looking for a way out of my current situation: whether that be waiting at the doctor's office, feeling like i'm frying on the beach but have.to.get.tan., or distracting myself while the plane is bouncing in the air at 30,000 feet above the hard earth.

now i look at how they tell it, what they say, how much they reveal, how much they hold back. so, i am going to start a type of blog post called "currently reading". i know, i know, it's not ingenious. but that's not the point. i want to force myself to read books and tell you what i have noticed. of course, i will never spill the beans or tell you anything about the book. i want you to read them and maybe see if you notice it too?

so, my first one is GONE GIRL by GILLIAN FLYNN. i'm 60% through it, and i can already say this: girl can write. i find myself over and over wondering how she can keep twisting it...i feel like at 60%, i would already be satisfied if it were wrapping up. but no, i have 40% left. intrigued is an understatement....and if you read it, you'll see why :)

so your summer reading starts now: GONE GIRL by GILLIAN FLYNN.

here's to those who have given up their lives, or even a season of their lives, or their bodies to keeping this country safe. thank you!

ashlyne huff revelette 

to be done...well, kind of

are we ever really done? i told my dad this morning that i finally submitted my first draft of my novel entitled "falling stars" late last night. i wrote in my last post that i was done writing my book, and yes, i was being honest. but then i had to type it into my Storyist software to get all the formatting and a proper page count, and then i had to read the entire book to catch as many typos and big issues as possible. my first draft, without any chapter designation is 286 pages. 62,351 words.  do you know how long it takes to read that? it makes my forty-page papers in college look like peanuts. and forty pages was long when i was trying to show how the company Hasbro could have a better business plan...snooze fest.

this 286 pages was way easier than that 40, trust me. but still, it took forever it felt like to get through it. my eyes started rolling back into my head, something i hope my husband didn't see (because it looks like i'm possessed).

ok, so back to this morning. i told my dad i sent it in to my girl Sarah in new york. i love you Sarah. everyone needs a Sarah, by the way.  he said: "well, that's just the first draft though isn't it?"

haha, yes, dad. it's the first one. the first of many i'm sure. but it's the hardest one by far. and as Sarah reminds me all the time, now i can let go and breathe. and then come back to it during the editing process with a renewed spirit. the editing process, when 286 pages will most likely get to 400 plus, that's when it really gets fun.

i could ramble on and on about this for days, but i have some living to do. i feel free right now. free to...go read someone else's book for a change. yippee.

SO the moral of the story is that no, you're never done. there's always another draft, another chapter to write. so today, i'm going to take a minute to celebrate the mini victory i have...wait for my notes, and get back to it.

*if i can make this my job, i will be the happiest person on the planet.

have a WONDERFUL week.

ahr

the end.

love to be able to write these words. 

you guessed it, i'm finished with my first draft of my second novel. i haven't really talked about it at length, but that's probably because i've been actively writing the thing. this is my second novel, but hopefully the first one that i put out. (little birdies have told me that the idea is a better debut, and i'm inclined to listen):) 

i've been crazy busy this week, and with my deadline looming (7 days from today), i wasn't sure if i'd be able to finish. but... I DID! I DID! 

i spent the morning outside at my parents' house while it rained all around me in the screened-in back porch. you'd never know we were in right near a main road from the look of the yard. it's amazing. it's nashville. 

typing will commence soon, and while i kind of dread it, i'm excited to take a picture of this same thing in typed form a week from today :)

have a great weekend. 

ahr

morning person

i have always dreamed of "being a morning" person. my mom is one. my cousin (who is my age and i spent the night with all the time as a child) is one. a lot of my friends are. but i was born to be a night owl, just like my daddy.  stay up late, not necessarily causing trouble (except for your own mind maybe),  and hate your life in the morning when you have to wake up. ok, maybe that's a little extreme, but in those moments when you are 1/2 awake, i promise it's dead on. haha

this morning, i didn't wake up super early per se. it was 9:15. but it was earlier than my "under the weather" husband, it was earlier than the vanderbilt neighborhood stirred on a sunday morning when i took charlie out. so...it was early seeming. and that was all it took for me to feel pumped.

knowing we were going to be watching church online since my sweetheart has yet to kick this funk he has, i went straight to my office in the spare bedroom, opened up my accounting/book keeping folder, and got to work. **i don't mind reading in the mornings, but i'm definitely not awake enough to be extremely creative in my writing. so i work on things that require less creative juice, knowing i will have to get it done anyway.**

and do you know what? in less than 2 hours, i finished what a year ago stressed me out. a year ago, i was so stressed when i had to start the book keeping--simply because i had no concept of what i was doing. now, with two restaurants to balance each month, with practice, i am understanding it...getting it, can you believe it?

i bet you are thinking: whoopee ashlyne, you learned to do your job. i do my job everyday too.

and you're right. but it's fun when you stop feeling like an idiot, you have to give me that. :) and it frees up my mind to actually write when i want to for the rest of the week/month or however much time i have left until a deadline.

i finished my work this morning before church even came on...which, by the way, is how mason and i "went" to church when we lived in LA.

sidebar:  if you are looking for a wonderful wonderful pastor, one who talks truth but not over your head, one who is funny and actually makes you want to go to church...check out www.brentwoodbaptist.com and watch live on sunday mornings... OR you can go http://www.brentwoodbaptist.com/kairos/ and watch the archives of Kairos. it's more casual than church, with our pastor in jeans instead of a suit, but it's just as amazing...if not more :)


anyway, i am rambling, but this morning's productivity made me even more interested in training myself to be a "morning person". it's a time management guru's dream!