planes, trains, and automobiles...literally

Let's go MAVS!

i've been back from this trip for a few weeks now, but i feel like i'm just now feeling able to breathe. going to florida for one week, coming back for a week, then going back out of town for ten more days felt like one thing: i was back on tour.

in dallas mase and i walked around a little bit in the cold, and i actually sat and edited falling stars on the grassy knoll...for reals. sarah didn't know i was in dallas, much less walking around where jfk was shot when she called me to go over some edits...and i didn't tell her:) i wanted to work on it. plus, i'm rereading 11/22/63 by stephen king right now, and i felt kind of inspired at that moment. i can't believe i've been to dallas that many times (on tour mostly) and never saw any of that history, but ah well. i made up for lost time. 

X-marks the spot JFK was killed. 

6th floor...no thank you. 

One of the nicest people you could ever meet.

We heart trains. On the way to the airport to go to LAX

why did we go to santa monica? my husband still can't believe i made him move from santa monica back to 4-seasoned tennessee. i mean, he can, but he misses it badly. so we stayed two buildings down from where we lived right on ocean avenue next to the pier. for me, honestly, i got goosebumps (not the best kind) at first. the hotel was absolutely amazing. no complaints there. i just have memories of santa monica that entailed missing my home sweet nashville so much while i dwelled there that i wrote a novel about nashville. literally walked around the third street promenade, some of the coolest shops, some of the best weather, and all i wanted was a randomly freezing day in march (like we had today).

Our hotel: The Shore. 

Up and at 'em. 

Mason's happy place. 

Down by the pier. 

We lived right across from here. 

it wasn't lost on me at all that it rained 4 out of the 5 days we were in santa monica. they had just had the worst drought in 30 years until the day we got there and it pourrrrred. cats and dogs doesn't do it justice. i don't know if you have ever been to cali when it rains or tennessee when it actually snows...but they are the same: no one knows what to do. anyway, my goosebumps about being there again (my second time since we moved in october 2011) went away completely and i enjoyed myself. i knew nashville was in my future again, and i reminded myself that i was supposed to be on vacation.

we ate at our favorite sushi spot 3 times that week. and it wasn't enough. we walked around in the rain (i brought us umbrellas because i planned for the wet attack). it was great. we drank lots of coffee, worked out, walked around all the outdoor malls that usually would be crawling with tourists...empty because of the rain. all in all, i had a marvelous time.

On the way to Palo Alto. 

Getting serious...

why did we go to san fran? mason loves basketball--a love i have since acquired because of his intense love--so he wanted to take a day trip to stanford to watch a game. that was all good and well until we got to sfo airport and i dropped my phone in the bathroom...fell right out of my pocket and smack! cracked the screen in a million places. i wrote a post on instagram about it:

I totally looked like an overzealous student. 

Cutest boy ever. 

tangent:
the broken tooth story was from 2010 when i was on tour for a few months. i had had sinus surgery before the tour started and i think my immune system was down for the entire duration on the tour because things kept happening. i lost my voice, got acute bronchitis, had to get a shot of cortisone at the el paso emergency room, got super nauseous from antibiotics while i was crossing the golden gate bridge on my way into san fran. so i was in my bunk on the bus and missed the whole thing. anyway, the next morning, i had a radio visit. i felt great for the first time in about a month or so. my label head and i went to mcdonald's so i could get some basically bread hamburgers (this is before i married a restauranteur, don't judge me). i was finally hungry, and i took it as a good sign. the key here is that they were soft hamburgers. the bread got stuck in my teeth or something, so i tried to un-stick it (not a word). and i felt something sharp. yep. it was my tooth and half of it was gone! it wasn't in the very front thank goodness, but it wasn't in the way back. and remember, i was a singer. i opened my mouth super wide for those high notes...and i had a show that night. the next day was our biggest date on the tour: LA. i couldn't believe it. anyway, i did the shows, all was well (except i was very self-conscious) and i flew home on easter the day after the la show for an emergency root canal before resuming in denver. 

Finally I can see it! 

ok, so back to san fran in 2014. breaking my screen seemed funny, and by that i mean not funny. but what could i do? we were still in vacation! suck it up, ashlyne. i did. we ate more sushi. went to bed early, and took the train to palo alto the next morning where i found a perfectly good iPhone repair shop--seemed like the best place to find one since it's where all the tech businesses are anyway! we walked around all day on campus in amazement. gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. we ate at the student center, bought some sweatshirts like total tourists, and went to the game. there, we figured out that stanford was playing colorado. wellll, one of my oldest friends from my dance competition years in nashville, jenni...her dad was the athletic director at CU...so he was there! of all places! i haven't seen him in forever. probably a decade. and CU won at the last second, but i was excited for mr. george.

San Fran from our rental car on the way to Napa. 

why napa? why not? i'd never been. the last time mason had gone was when he was in middle school, so he couldn't come close to appreciating anything other than the landscape. napa, the whole feel of the place in general, it was my favorite part of the trip. it was serene, quiet, inviting...more like the south in ways, which was probably why i felt at home. i definitely could hear myself think more, which was helpful since i was trying to write.

According to my dad: Mecca. 

Happy to be in serene Napa. 

Opus One.

now you know why. and the ultimate why to the whole trip is that mason is breaking ground on 2 more locations for his restaurant (jonathansgrille.com) next month and late this summer, so the chances of us taking anymore trips is pretty slim for a long while.

It was a good trip. 

sponge-ing: malcolm gladwell

let's go bruins.

it's not often you get the chance to go back to college and feel really excited or proud. usually, you're proud you're done, but not excited think about those long papers (back when 40 page papers were long...if i only knew), the busy work, and the courses that really didn't seem to shape anything but your capacity for anger. why? why do i have to take this course? this exit exam!? i learned it the whole time and now you want me to recall details from my first semester in survey of recording techniques? (true story. i passed. but i was nervous.)

so, it's not often that going "back to school" would seem fun, but friday, february 21st at 6:30 am, i was more than delighted. i pointed out my first dorm room to my husband with pride--even though that might have been the worst year of my life besides my roomie liz. but i made it through, so it felt like something to be proud of. i walked into the curb event center and down the stairs to the same floor i danced on during basketball games with my best friend farmer.

so cool

the campus has grown and grown and grown since i graduated, which was in december of 2007. and they haven't stopped! i'm thrilled! but most of all, i'm proud that they have found a way to bring someone like malcolm gladwell to town.  to belmont university. it was still a college when my mom went there.

anyway, malcolm. i didn't exactly know what to expect for the hour and a half he had to speak...was he going to go into david & goliath? surely not. he wants us to read it right? (yes, that's exactly what he said) so everyone sat patiently and waited to hear what he had to say.

he told a story about alva smith vanderbilt (and get this...she eventually remarried and became a....belmont!) get it? maybe not if you're not a nashvillian.  vanderbilt university and belmont university are two minutes from each other and the lady he talked about was both! i thought it was cool.

the story of alva and her daughter consuelo confused me at first. why is he telling a story about an overbearing mother and the control she wielded over everyone around her? especially consuelo, who was forced into marrying a british royal and move out of the high new york society of the 1890s.

why did he tell us detail after detail about the superb, yet over-the-top homes alva had built? why did we learn about how cold and controlling she was? how much she wanted her daughter to have the best wedding ever? how consuelo begged and cried and even tried to run away with the man she actually wanted to marry, only to be tracked down by her mother? she sounds awful was all i could think.

but...like in every good story, she had a reason, a root. and also, a fallout from her choices. when she decided to divorce her new york society husband, she was ousted by her so-called friends. when she sent consuelo overseas, she no longer had contact. so why would she do that? (lots of whys, i know...it was really early)

the answer was pretty simple. she wanted to buck the system she felt oppressed by. a woman who was married to someone as rich and powerful as william kissam vanderbilt could do little more than plan parties for their husbands and the other wives...and of course, build extravagant houses. in mr. gladwell's words (paraphrased of course): "alva didn't build all those houses out of conspicuous consumption. she built them out of frustration." all her intelligence, her talent, know-how, her go-getter-ness. it was all spent on the houses because she couldn't do anything else with it. she couldn't even vote.

so, that's why she divorced her own life, so to speak. why she sent her daughter away to the uk, even if it meant she would lose her relationship and that her daughter would be in a miserable marriage. alva wanted her daughter to have more opportunity to use what she had in her noggin. she just did all these things in a seemingly harsh way.

but, ten years later, consuelo came back to new york to speak at the waldorf astoria. in the ten years, she'd become a british reformist. in gladwell's words, she gave her audience (the women of new york society) a "tongue-lashing". she said "how dare you" let things go on the way they are, waste your talents, waste your intelligence throwing parties! and wouldn't you know alva sat on the front row, proud and sure of one thing: she'd succeeded in saving her daughter.

i'm not sure if their relationship was "healed", but it definitely went somewhere because she accompanied consuelo to london to a suffragette meeting. it was there she found her real life's cause: women's suffrage.

so, she went back to the u.s. with that mission, and you know how seriously she took those. alva moved (probably more like forced) the hq from ohio to new york city, buying them a block or something. she donated one of her ornate, intricate houses on newport beach as a convention center. she marched up and down the streets she would've never been seen on before, picketing with all types, all collars of women. she brought the black and white movements together. she hired the first lobbyist for the cause to be heard in washington even though she was told it was unladylike. her comment? "men don't worry about antagonizing other men, so why should we?" she followed the movement all the way to the end.

He didn't say this at the event,  but I like the quote.

and only a woman like alva, someone who was clearly willing to win at all costs, could do all that. by the end of the story, i quite liked the woman, even if i would have steered clear of her at the dinner table.

malcolm gladwell boiled everything down to systems and what people need from them:




1. the system needs to be fair: you're not worried about people getting special treatment just because
2. the system needs to be respectful: if you have a comment or concern, you know you'll be heard
3. the system needs to be trustworthy: you aren't worried about it changing from day to day or the rules switching around.

if these are met, gladwell said people typically don't feel the need to revolt, to rise up and rock the boat, to fight. if they are met, the system usually works. of course it's never perfect, but the deep-seeded anger that comes from injustice of a poorly executed or planned system...it might not even be felt at all.

i think i've lost the right to use the words "in a nutshell" by now, but i'm going to say it anyway: in a  nutshell, mr. gladwell inspired all leaders of any kind to be the good kind of authority, to lead with a system that works for the people in it and of it.

oh, and his hair was awesome.

thank you and goodnight! 

(yes, i was watching the oscars while i typed this.)

(yes, my notes are in tennessee while i'm in santa monica, so i had to do this from memory.)