draft in and draft out

i go in and out of blogging. some weeks i have a lot to say, some weeks i literally have no time to my name to do anything other than work. i guess that's the life of a writer. drafts come due every few weeks, so that means i reread all 300+ pages again and comb through each word again and make notes on the printed draft again. after all the edits are made, i go into my storyist software and type everything in. it's quite the process.

so, that said...i'm still working on draft 3 of falling stars. i must go:) but i'll be back next week!

june 19, 2010

you know how people tell you love comes the moment you least expect it? well, "they" are all 100% correct. it literally came when i thought...'surely, not today.' you want to know why? because i had just broken up with someone else THAT MORNING. i know, i know, it sounded terrible to me too. but now that i married the guy, i can say it with confidence :) 

here's our story: mason and i went to brentwood academy in nashville, tn for high school. he played sports, i was a cheerleader, so we should have gotten to know each other. but we were in separate grades (yes, as my dad says, i am a 'cradle robber'), and he was more focused on basketball while i was a football cheerleader...and even at that, i was more interested in dance (which was outside of school). we knew who the other was, but it never escalated any further. 

fast forward to 2010: mason finished his four years at the university  of louisville working as a student assistant coach (go cards) and got a job at indiana university as a graduate assistant. he packed his bags and moved to bloomington. i was on tour with honor society in the winter/spring and jordin sparks was scheduled for the summer. around memorial day, i get a message from mason asking how i liked being away from everything, everyone. (he knew my situation and how even though both of us were working hard towards a dream, it could get lonely sometimes). it was exactly what i needed at the time. i was in los angeles for another week, and i really had nothing to for a couple days (and was effectively by myself). so i needed someone to talk to that could identify with how i was feeling. mason and i talked back and forth, and then he told me he was thinking of leaving indiana and going back to nashville. i told him i was going back in week or so, and agreed to hang out. 

for the record, i wanted to hang out with him....just as friends though. and that was because i was technically still dating someone else. before you go and freak out, know this: it wasn't a relationship. it was something i had needed to get out of for two years, and it was dragging along without much of anything holding it together. the guy wasn't a bad person, but he wasn't for me. we didn't fit. and we both knew it. but since i was gone all the time, we hadn't ended it once and for all. so technically, i was still with him. and that was enough for me not to go forward with mase. 

the last thing i wanted to do was to start a relationship off on the wrong foot. you never want that. 

so, what do i do when i get back home? i try to avoid the situation at all costs...if you know me, you know i am not one for confrontation. :)

and a couple weeks go by, and i'm still in my bad, dying relationship...until june 19, 2010 rolls around. that morning, the then-technically-my-boyfriend called and said "this isn't going to work is it?" i said "no" and then we decided to break it off--final...no more. (another tid-bit of information is that during my time with this boyfriend, i had broken up with him a couple times and never stayed away for long. i would call that time in my life my weakest. it wasn't good) so when he called me and said it wasn't going to work, i made a decision to actually make this the last time. be strong, ashlyne. don't go back, you don't want to start this all over again. 

so i didn't. and i go downstairs (living at my parents' house in between tours) to make some coffee. my sister asks me if i want to go to the pool. yes, please. and then i get a text from mason to go to a pool party with his brother and friends. i thought to myself "it's too soon, there's no way, i want to be single for a long time." so i declined and told him that i was going to the pool with my sister...which i was, and i did. at the pool, i discussed at length with maddie how i was going to be single and really take some time for myself for once. (you know the ending, so you know how funny that is)

a random sunburn later, i was back home at my parents' house. i got another text from mason. "if you don't want to go out with me, just tell me." bold. to the point. :) i thought there was no way i would like him now if i hadn't ever before. we had seen each other enough times right? but he didn't deserve to be blown off again. no one deserves that. and i had no technicalities holding me back. 

so we went to starbucks in brentwood, tennessee. it was late. i wore no makeup. my hair was half wet, and i wore a romper that mason eventually told me he did not like (many months later). haha. 

i parked, got out of my prius, and headed towards the door. and i saw him. mason revelette, the boy i'd seen enough times before i thought. but no, it was different this time. i know it sounds silly, but it was totally different. it was like he was glowing. he had always been attractive, but something set him even further that night. we went inside and talked until the place closed. and because we weren't done yet, we went for a walk in my parents' neighborhood (we got our engagement pictures done in that same neighborhood for a reason :) ) 

i told him i had five days until i left for my tour with jordin sparks. i hoped it wouldn't scare him or make him want to run for the hills. but instead, we spent as much time as possible with each other until then. and while i was on tour, we skyped every day and texted and talked for the entire month. it was a true test. if he didn't quit with my schedule being as demanding as it was, he was in. i already knew i was by the second hour of being together at starbucks. 

august 2010: a month after jordin sparks' tour, we moved to los angeles together. it was crazy, but it was the best decision we could have made. together, 2000+ miles away from our families, we had to learn how to coexist without a herd of friends or family to run away to. 

october 25, 2011: we moved back home to tennessee.

november 28, 2011: we got engaged. we were watching basketball. it was a timeout.

september, 2012: we got married. 

now that you know why today is as much of an anniversary as sept 28th is,  do you see what i mean by unexpected? it's amazing what God does to prepare your heart for the one. 

daddy

i haven't exactly been bored for the past week and a half. and i hate that it has taken me this long, but i did celebrate father's day with my dad....so i'll post about it now:)

daniel lee huff. he's my hero...in life, in music, in everything. he is a musician by trade, but being a family man is and has always been his priority. if you have met him, you know exactly what i'm talking about. 

dann (daddy) still talks about my mom like they are dating. still! after over thirty years. and while i thought it was gross when i was younger, i now see how beautiful it is. how many men meet someone and remain loyal for that long? they met when they were thirteen at a church retreat, and he says he knew even back then. they got married when they were twenty, moved out to los angeles for him to play guitar, i was born a few years later, and then in 1990, they moved back to nashville just in time for maddie to be born. 

the way he treats me, my brother and sister, my mom, his parents, his in-laws, strangers, his co-workers, artists he works with, children... it's unbelievable. he is a pure example of integrity. he is a pure example of patience. he is the good kind of perfectionist. he works so hard. and you can hear the quality in his work...you can see the quality of his life. 

i love my daddy.

AHR

currently reading: done

ok, well, call me shocked. i'm impressed, but shocked. that story freaked me out! it didn't help that i got food poisoning during a few chapters! if you've read it, you know how bad my timing was :(

i do have to say that i do not think like ms. gillian flynn. i'm reading with my eyes completely bugged out because of some of things she's revealing. i was very enthralled and couldn't put the book down...except for the 12 hours I was ill....so i do think she's verrrrrry good at what she does. my brain just wouldn't have gone to a lot of the places she goes.


challenge: i'm not going to start writing thrillers, don't worry. but i am going to try to challenge myself with my next book to push my own envelope further. more twists, more snags for the reader to get stuck on...in a good way of course...all for your reading pleasure!


i like gillian flynn. a lot. she takes literary risks...those are the kind i'm willing to take. if you know me, you know i am not much of a real world risk taker :)

ahr

currently reading: sharp objects

i am currently reading another gillian flynn novel: sharp objects. isn't it fun to finish a book by a "new-to-you" author and discover that they have written more? that's the best feeling for a reader when one book is done...and you are sitting there saying 'now what'? i am on a mini-vacation with my husband and his parents and i wanted to start reading something else...so my trusty kindle paperwhite and i found more gillian flynn! and i already love it. she writes so much darker than i do. i'm not saying i should become a darker writer, but it's so good to read something other than my style. it's like being a singer and only listening to your own album. not a good idea! 

while i'm on my mini vacay, i am also editing the first draft of falling stars in order to get my second draft turned in ASAP! it's fun to just go back and forth betweens sharp objects and falling stars  and train my brain on how a finished piece looks. i'm not technically published yet, so i know i have  a lot to learn...but even when/if i ever am published, i hope i never stop looking for others' ways of telling. i don't think i will because i love to read too much to give it up! 

so, if you've finished gone girl: pick up sharp objects! 

ahr

safe...

my husband and i had a date night last night...the first one in a while. sure we have dinner together, we do stuff together...we actually work together most of the time--but that's probably why we don't do "date night", because we do see each other throughout the day, every day.

i am so thankful for both circumstances, and last night showed me that even though we do see each other, we can always see each other more. that working together isn't the same as just being together. that i do, in fact, adore "just hangin'"sometimes.

we live in nashville, right in the thick of the vanderbilt campus. students live all around us, our neighbor is a math professor. we love the energy in our neighborhood, and we love the fact that we can walk everywhere. last night, mase took me to a vandy baseball game. we walked there and made it in time for the first pitch, we hung out and watched until the 8th inning...vandy was clearly going to win...and then we walked to one of our favorite dinner spots--chipotle, enjoyed a quick bite, and then walked back home. it was simple and lovely.

nights like those make me feel safe. i don't know if any of you have ever been in a terrible relationship, but before my husband, i feel like i was the queen of them. it wasn't that the guys were so bad (and by the way, not all my past relationships were bad at all) but that we were just so clearly incompatible. incompatibility can be lethal. so can someone who doesn't respect you in the slightest bit. i had a couple of those...and once it got pretty verbally abusive.

that's why i feel safe. my husband makes our relationship a place where i can be myself, have my quirks, and all the while, be challenged. being safe doesn't mean i don't try anymore. it means i try harder because i'm not so freaked out about doing something a little wrong. i'm not afraid of falling more and more in love with him because i know he is trustworthy. i'm not afraid to fall because i know he'll catch me. and i knew it from the moment i met him.

you should have seen me...june 19, 2010 (i can't believe it's almost 3 years)...at starbucks in brentwood, tn. sitting together while the baristas are packing up. and i'm sunburnt in weird places, wet hair, no makeup. and i am immediately overtaken by this trust i feel...and this want to share all about myself, the mistakes i've made, the crap i've gone through, the bad things....why? i have no idea. i guess i wanted to make sure he knew i was flawed right from the start. i was worried he would think of me just the same as when we were in high school, when we didn't really know each other, and i didn't want him to think i was without some baggage, that i was light and airy. because on june 19, 2010, i was not light or airy. i was heavy and scarred and scared. i had just gotten out of a really trying relationship. it tested my ability to love myself enough to be loved...i almost failed.

but there he was. mason. my mase. my husband. and here we are. and there i was, last night, tonight, and always... safe.

if you haven't found  your one and only. if you are afraid that you never will.... trust me: you will. when God sent mase to rescue me, i had thought it would never happen to me. but it did. and now i can't really remember all the bad days...i take that back, i remember them. BUT they don't have the same effect on my heart or my soul :)

i got reallllly heavy tonight. oops!

ahr