finding time in the day to be proud of yourself.

there's no time to do this. our culture, our society, doesn't let us take two seconds to look around at our accomplishments and be a little proud.

the desk in all it's cluttered glory

i don't know if that means making it out of high school alive, getting that masters degree, surviving a devastating blow to your confidence, moving on from a relationship that had you in its grips, breaking through a lifelong struggle of some sort. whatever it is, i'll bet you don't tell yourself "way to go" all that often.

because there's no time. you have to get moving to the next thing, the next big hump of your life. you have to keep up with the rest of the world. when i was graduating college, it was all about "getting a job, any job" because the recession was about to hit. a lot of people i knew stayed in college longer than they probably would have to hopefully skip the whole thing. i got a record deal in the worst possible time ever...the economy wasn't doing so hot but even before that, the record business was changing at a rapid speed. i didn't have to worry about a job, but the job i had was uncharted territory for everyone it felt like.

so i ducked my head and went through the next 3 years with determination driving the bus. i was going to make it through. (and then of course, i kept getting sick, which is another couple posts worth). but i accomplished a lot in those years, not only in music. the stuff you see is a music video or two, two albums, a couple tours, tv show spots, etc. but the stuff i can finally see now that it's been long enough is the overcoming of my biggest fears at the time, persevering through a lot of personal confidence issues, working sometimes for weeks without any breaks,  moving 3000 miles away from my beloved tennessee, finding myself, getting out of a realllllly bad relationship only to find my future husband standing right there. those three years got me more than some awesome memories and  life-long friends. i found me.

the piecemeal shoppe

and fast forward to me now...i'm sitting in my office right now, taking a break from a big edit of my novel--a novel was something i always wanted to write but never knew how i would even do--with my dog under my desk, the rain tapping on my window on a strange 66 degree december day (that's nashville), and i can see all the little things i've physically accumulated in my office. the drafts i've written, the books i've read, the pile of post-its i've used, the cup of pens i cherish, the other novels i've started, my little etsy shoppe in the corner, the pictures of my last year as a married woman.

i might not be a published author yet, but i am an accomplished person. i have survived this world so far, so i think i can keep on going...only maybe today, i start looking up every once in a while.

my mascot, charlie

 have a great day everyone.