ok, so i'm a writer...how to go with the flow and change

this post isn't so much about accepting editorial criticism as it is about finding your place in the writing world. in music it was easy...i was pop. i danced, and country music, even though it was churned out of nashville like a factory,  did not have much room for a dancer. so i went to pop--my decision was kind of made for me. (i was always told i sounded like i was from the south though ironically...but that's another post and another "chicken or the egg" thing.)

as a fiction writer, it's not as easy. i am finding out that i may not be a new adult writer. and that mind sound like a big sad sigh to some out there...not that you're so attached to the particular genre but more because that means i might have to refocus my current book to a younger audience.

sounds like work. it is. but it feels like work i want to take on, work that will totally be worth it in the end.

so for the next couple weeks (aka the holiday season), i will be utilizing the time when the publishing industry takes a short break to make this thing sooooo freakin' good, even i don't know how to deal:) i'm smiling really big right now, trying not to laugh at myself. it's hard, because like i said in my last post, i don't take myself too seriously.

but i am super duper serious about making these changes. and i cannot wait to see what comes out! my mother-in-law and father-in-law are taking mase and me to florida soon, too, so i can get a whole lot done there!

happy thanksgiving! i'm thankful for you. and my family. and charlie. and my friends, who i consider to be family.

pumpkin pie is callin' my name. see ya. 

ok, so i'm a writer....:taking yourself too seriously

i take my work seriously, but not myself. i take my characters seriously--i actually care about them-- but not myself. i want to finish my manuscripts more than i want to accomplish anything...but i still don't take ashlyne too seriously. if you don't believe me, keep reading and beware of the picture. 

when people ask me what i do now, meaning "why aren't you still touring", i often don't know what to say right away. if i say i'm an author i feel like i'm implying that i am published, and my books are best-selling. extreme, i know, but that's how i feel sometimes. it's human nature to want to puff yourself up, but when you literally have no credits to your name, you can't even pretend. 

so i always hesitate and end up saying "i write" with a touch of nonchalance to it. that's real nonchalance though, not the fake kind that begs the other person to ask me more. i have no news, so i couldn't tell you anything else besides the fact that i've technically written two novels and songs to go with them. there's no more news. 

like i said, i take my actual work seriously, i get all giddy about it when i'm on the phone with certain people (like my agent, my grandmother, and lindsey). but i don't take myself seriously. i can't. i'm a married 28-year-old who found out what she loves to do more than anything else: write 300+ pages while i visit coffee shops and different cities or sit in my office at home with the fire going and my little darling yorkie charlie under my feet. listening to hans zimmer on pandora or itunes. 

how in the world could i be serious? i'm so happy about where i am right now, i have no time to be too serious about it. i won't be able to enjoy it! 

here to rescue all the serious-ians from their seriousness

and when i get cold, i wear onesies that are clearly not made for me. but when you're 5' 2'', you get to do these things. (look right)

funny story: i was talking with my agent sarah and then lindsey this past friday night, and we had a little bit of a breakthrough about my current novel and how to improve it vastly...and i'm sitting there in my space ship onesie pivoting in my chair like some old businessman. 

again, how could i begin to take myself seriously?

not possible. not possible. 

look, the bottom line is that you can't be a creator if you think your art is above other things in life, that it's so sacred that no one else should be able to offer constructive advice, that no changes should be made because it will lose it's integrity. it will only lose it if you let it become something you can't stand behind. the simple act of changing (or dare i say improving) will not do anything but lead it in a place you might not have been able to see before. 

it's like co-writing for songwriting is for me--i prefer to write songs with other people. in my opinion, it's a better song in the end when two people sit there and tackle the same idea from different sides of the room, with different personalities and pasts to bring to the same coffee table. you push and pull each other until the song is this big piece of stretched taffy. on your own, it would have only stretched so far. 

writing a novel is a lone process, yes, but once you're done, don't be afraid to ask for some hands to stretch it. (in your gut, you know the difference between good and bad criticism. you can feel it, just listen.)

and you might be thinking i'm talking in terms of commerciality...and sure. i am i guess. but i also think that if you even want your BFF to read your stuff, you might need a find a way for him/her to connect to it. it's a lonesome project if it's so coded that only you get it. what's the point? 

enjoy your life, enjoy your art. create things you can share to make other people's lives better. unless you're an art and enjoyment hoarder. in that case, this might not be your favorite blog :) 

ashlyne

ok so i'm a writer...without a deadline

i've talked about meeting deadlines a little bit--i think, maybe? either way...rule of thumb: meet them! haha easy right? but seriously, it's easy for me to meet a deadline because i can work backwards and figure out how much i'll have to do with the amount of days in between. it's a real math problem (albeit an easy one that i'm comfortable with...don't make me solve for x please!) i have always somehow enjoyed (groan i know) time management. i used to do my homework in my tights and leotard in the corner of the dance studio lobby so that i didn't have to have homework when i got home--which was like 1 or 2 in the morning some nights. (that's another post from another life)

but what do you do if you're writing without a deadline to light that fire under your bum? or what if your deadline is an arbitrary date you set, and there's really no reason you absolutely have to finish it, making your deadline a more of a wish?

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there are a couple reasons people might not have a deadline that's helping them get to the finish line. 1. you are still on your first book, so you don't know how long it should be taking. you don't know what it feels like to be done, you don't know if you'll ever be done. and 300+ pages is a lot of words... 2. you have finished a book or two and you can write it in record time if someone's asking for it (like an agent or an editor). but since no one is asking, you have no reason to shoot for the stars like you did before.

i'm sure there are more reasons, but i will stick with these two since technically, i'm not a published author, so i don't want to cross over my boundaries!

let's break it down:

1. you are still on your first book: cue panic. i remember when i was writing my first-ever manuscript. it felt like i would never finish with the pace i could handle. i was working like four jobs, moving from los angeles/santa monica back to nashville (which actually propelled the nashville-based stories), having my second sinus surgery, and planning a wedding. i had never been more unsure of myself at that point. i mean, i knew who i was and where i came from and who i loved and loved me...but i didn't know where my career was going.

that unsettled feeling was/is the best thing i could have asked for. not knowing where you'll end up leaves a window of hope and "if i could just" in your system. and with that, i knew that i wanted to be a writer even if it wasn't all i had in my day. even if i couldn't write for a week from being to swamped with other stuff.

i had no deadline, no one waiting besides my then-fiance, who was just proud of me for writing a lot of pages down.

how did i get through that? i tried not to think about it. and this is so normal for writers i think. unless you're a celebrity that gets commissioned to pen some memoirs or something, no one seeks you out. you have to write the thing, edit the thing, all on a wing and a prayer. and oh by the way, you have to find a way to make a living for yourself so you can survive long enough to see it be published! easy peasy? not really.

there were some definitely lulls and times i thought i should just forget about it. i didn't know how it felt anyway, so what was i really missing? i could cut it up and make it into a bunch of songs or something....but i never let go. it sounds silly, but i held onto the day of seeing my name on a book cover in a bookstore. i designed my own covers when i couldn't write a word. i did what i could to keep the dream alive...and that was to not forget about it. i thought i would eventually finish. and i did.

and you will. just don't let that doubt steal your dream. let it steal your time you need to do your other job(s) every now and then. it isn't your income yet, so be practical about that. but don't let your dream go. find some time (some sacred time) to sit and write every week, if not every day. make it happen. i read jane green's "for writers" section of her website back in 2010 or 2011, and printed it out, stuck it on my wall. the one thing i kept going back to was about finishing. that's first and foremost, she says. you have to finish it to do anything with it. so if you do nothin else...finish it! 

i redid this a little for our purposes, but this was the original source.

2. you've written one before, and since you don't have a technical deadline right now (doesn't mean ever), you're having a hard time getting into the groove again.

this is me. right now. i know i can finish a manuscript in two and a half months. and that was with my agent and office asking for it while i was bookkeeping for two of my husband's restaurants and selling my stationary on etsy and doing real estate. and after i finished the manuscript, we really got started with content edits and rewrites and the whole nine yards. i read that thing so many time, i knew what it was saying before i finished the sentences. it was pandemonium! and i loved it!

so now, here i am...so happy, feeling accomplished. but no deadline. and sarah keeps telling me it will change soon enough (that the fire will be lit under my bum again) and i believe her. it's just really interesting  to see how that fire changes my writing habits.

which brings me to my final thought (i know you thought i'd never have one). i have to find a way to light my own fire. i was talking to my mentor/author friend lindsey yesterday and we are on both ends of this spectrum at the moment. by talking to her i realized the advice i was giving to someone who hadn't finished the first one was exactly the advice i needed to give myself....just finish it ashlyne! you already know the deal. finish it! who cares if you aren't sure how it's turning out. you can't do anything about it until you see it as a whole, crazy girl! you know this! get over yourself!enough of a fire? yep. (my inner voice gets mad at me a lot haha)

hope you find your fire! and don't let anyone or anything blow it out. 



ashlyne

currently reading: fangirl by rainbow rowell

i actually finished this book a little while ago, but so much is going on at one time that i tend to stockpile post ideas for when i have the time...

      fangirl by rainbow rowell

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ps. i can't believe there are only 40 days until christmas. 

sarah (my agent) suggested i read some from the young adult/new adult world of fiction alongside of my standards (emily giffin, nicholas sparks, jane green, elin hilderbrand, kristin hannah etc.) to get an idea of where i really live in my writing. because i'm 28--don't remind me--my recollections of high school and college are just out of my reach, in a good way. 

i am old enough to have some perspective on both of those structured times in my life, which is why i tend to write about it. it's something i remember like it was yesterday, but the mistakes and crappy (and tragic) situations you just have to go through as a teen and early 20 something...they don't sting anymore. at least not much. time heals, but i would change the cliche to "time lessens the blow" for my particular age. it's still there in my memory, and that's why i write about it. and i'm able to write about it because i'm not still in it. does this make any sense. i feel like i'm writing in a circle. either way, the point is this: my genre is "new adult", we have discovered (18-24 age range). and at first i wondered why i would be writing for girls younger than me...the above rambling is what i came up with for an answer. 

*if you're an experienced, published writer, you're probably thinking...duh, ashlyne. but hey, this is a blog, and i'm not afraid to look silly and show what i'm going through as an amateur.:) 

fangirl was a great read. it took a minute to get into, but it's probably because you have to get into two stories, cath's present and cath's passion: a harry potter-like series. so you kind of have to take a second to get the flow down, but once you do, it's smooth sailing. 

you know the author is a good writer when you start feeling like you're the character. i actually made the university of omaha (somewhere i've never been) belmont university in my actual freshman year. i took every situation she was in, every classroom, every dining hall and put it to my experience. and it fit perfectly. i felt the same freshman-y emotions all over again. some good, some bad...but all real and all part of making it a book i could believe in. 

the only thing i wondered about was the ending...and maybe it's just because i didn't want it to end. i wondered what happened to this, to that, to them, etc. and again, maybe it's just me mourning the ending of a great novel...i have a hard time every time i get to the last 25% of books i read. and because i am reading on an ipad, all i have are "locations" and page numbers based on my font. so for this book, i was blindsided by the end...i thought there was more! but no. :( 

all in all: recommended! rainbow rowell knows what she's doing! 

sponge-ing: pat conroy

                                                        be a sponge.

pat conroy/ source

lately, i've been refilling my tank in a lot of ways. i've been reading novels, watching tv shows on netflix, going to coffee with my grandma donna on tuesdays, and attending as many author "things" as i can. by author things, i mean events where authors come and either speak or answer questions with a host...or a dinner in which i'm mingling with established authors. 

in the past couple months, i've done a little bit of all of them. the nashville library has this series called salon at 615. they bring authors in and have a Q & A with a bookstore owner here in town parnassus (ann patchett-an author herself). my sweet mama accompanied me to hume-fogg high school's theater a few weeks ago. ( taylor swift's video for "teardrops on my guitar" was filmed there) and the author was pat conroy. to be honest, i know about his works, but i've only read one of them: south of broad. it's an amazing read, especially if you like charleston, south carolina. 

i know he's a killer writer based on that book alone, but because i write more like an emily giffin or nicholas sparks, i have tried to read my weight in those types of titles. now, i think i will delve into the collection i'm sure will be spectacular. 

mr. conroy was doing press for his latest book the death of santini, a sequel of sorts to his 70s novel the great santini, which was made into a movie (i haven't seen it either, sadly). where have i been?! i'm telling you i learned so much that night. 

the writer advice i would have to say was the most interesting to me was how candid he was about his real life creeping into his books. i don't know if he was even trying to give advice, but it has stayed with me. if you know anything about his stories, they can be pretty dark--i know the one i read was gritty and realistic, not fluffy. his real life sounds like it has been the same. coming from seven kids, his dad was the great santini, who i have learned was not the most loving father. 

there is a lot more that he said, talking about all the funny stories of his childhood--although some of them were not funny at all. but all this is to say one thing: he writes what he knows. and that plus the fact that he can write like no other...that makes a storyteller. and that, he is. 

i'll let you know what i think of the entire pat conroy catalog! (i was told i'd like beach music so i'll probably do that one next!)

being a sponge is the best thing i can do as a new writer. it's the best thing any novice or amateur can do period. you have to learn from the best , even if they aren't giving you straightforward advice. listen. listen. listen.  you'll get something out of it. i promise.