ok so i'm a writer...without a deadline

i've talked about meeting deadlines a little bit--i think, maybe? either way...rule of thumb: meet them! haha easy right? but seriously, it's easy for me to meet a deadline because i can work backwards and figure out how much i'll have to do with the amount of days in between. it's a real math problem (albeit an easy one that i'm comfortable with...don't make me solve for x please!) i have always somehow enjoyed (groan i know) time management. i used to do my homework in my tights and leotard in the corner of the dance studio lobby so that i didn't have to have homework when i got home--which was like 1 or 2 in the morning some nights. (that's another post from another life)

but what do you do if you're writing without a deadline to light that fire under your bum? or what if your deadline is an arbitrary date you set, and there's really no reason you absolutely have to finish it, making your deadline a more of a wish?

Source

there are a couple reasons people might not have a deadline that's helping them get to the finish line. 1. you are still on your first book, so you don't know how long it should be taking. you don't know what it feels like to be done, you don't know if you'll ever be done. and 300+ pages is a lot of words... 2. you have finished a book or two and you can write it in record time if someone's asking for it (like an agent or an editor). but since no one is asking, you have no reason to shoot for the stars like you did before.

i'm sure there are more reasons, but i will stick with these two since technically, i'm not a published author, so i don't want to cross over my boundaries!

let's break it down:

1. you are still on your first book: cue panic. i remember when i was writing my first-ever manuscript. it felt like i would never finish with the pace i could handle. i was working like four jobs, moving from los angeles/santa monica back to nashville (which actually propelled the nashville-based stories), having my second sinus surgery, and planning a wedding. i had never been more unsure of myself at that point. i mean, i knew who i was and where i came from and who i loved and loved me...but i didn't know where my career was going.

that unsettled feeling was/is the best thing i could have asked for. not knowing where you'll end up leaves a window of hope and "if i could just" in your system. and with that, i knew that i wanted to be a writer even if it wasn't all i had in my day. even if i couldn't write for a week from being to swamped with other stuff.

i had no deadline, no one waiting besides my then-fiance, who was just proud of me for writing a lot of pages down.

how did i get through that? i tried not to think about it. and this is so normal for writers i think. unless you're a celebrity that gets commissioned to pen some memoirs or something, no one seeks you out. you have to write the thing, edit the thing, all on a wing and a prayer. and oh by the way, you have to find a way to make a living for yourself so you can survive long enough to see it be published! easy peasy? not really.

there were some definitely lulls and times i thought i should just forget about it. i didn't know how it felt anyway, so what was i really missing? i could cut it up and make it into a bunch of songs or something....but i never let go. it sounds silly, but i held onto the day of seeing my name on a book cover in a bookstore. i designed my own covers when i couldn't write a word. i did what i could to keep the dream alive...and that was to not forget about it. i thought i would eventually finish. and i did.

and you will. just don't let that doubt steal your dream. let it steal your time you need to do your other job(s) every now and then. it isn't your income yet, so be practical about that. but don't let your dream go. find some time (some sacred time) to sit and write every week, if not every day. make it happen. i read jane green's "for writers" section of her website back in 2010 or 2011, and printed it out, stuck it on my wall. the one thing i kept going back to was about finishing. that's first and foremost, she says. you have to finish it to do anything with it. so if you do nothin else...finish it! 

i redid this a little for our purposes, but this was the original source.

2. you've written one before, and since you don't have a technical deadline right now (doesn't mean ever), you're having a hard time getting into the groove again.

this is me. right now. i know i can finish a manuscript in two and a half months. and that was with my agent and office asking for it while i was bookkeeping for two of my husband's restaurants and selling my stationary on etsy and doing real estate. and after i finished the manuscript, we really got started with content edits and rewrites and the whole nine yards. i read that thing so many time, i knew what it was saying before i finished the sentences. it was pandemonium! and i loved it!

so now, here i am...so happy, feeling accomplished. but no deadline. and sarah keeps telling me it will change soon enough (that the fire will be lit under my bum again) and i believe her. it's just really interesting  to see how that fire changes my writing habits.

which brings me to my final thought (i know you thought i'd never have one). i have to find a way to light my own fire. i was talking to my mentor/author friend lindsey yesterday and we are on both ends of this spectrum at the moment. by talking to her i realized the advice i was giving to someone who hadn't finished the first one was exactly the advice i needed to give myself....just finish it ashlyne! you already know the deal. finish it! who cares if you aren't sure how it's turning out. you can't do anything about it until you see it as a whole, crazy girl! you know this! get over yourself!enough of a fire? yep. (my inner voice gets mad at me a lot haha)

hope you find your fire! and don't let anyone or anything blow it out. 



ashlyne