oh charles

my dog, for now, is my child...and if you know me at all, you know i'm not kidding! not one bit. this little guy has been in the huff family for nine years now. and i am finding it very difficult these days to think about the day he will go to doggie heaven. right in the middle of being with him, i will just start weeping. i know it sounds stupid and maybe even a little morbid, but my thoughts are none of the sort. in fact, i'm just being realistic. small dogs live shorter lives, and he's already nine.


if you were to get a chance to talk to my dad, he would probably tell you that charlie is the first dog i've truly loved. he's right. he's very right, actually. when i was nineteen, i came home from college during a time when i was emotionally fragile. emotionally devastated truthfully. my mom, sister, and brother were in tampa for one of her dance competitions (something i had done just one year prior since i was seven), my dad was in the studio all day and night working on keith urban's new album at the time, and my best friend farmer (jennifer) was studying abroad in south france. i was hurting and alone, and that's when it happened. charlie came into the playroom (which was right outside my dad's studio) where i was sitting on the carpet. i just sat there and listened to keith's voice being compiled into what would be the finished product on the record. my dad was a whiz at that stuff, still is. anyway, i was sitting there trying not to think, trying to think i was happier, as if i could pretend such a thing into being. if any of you are wondering why my dad didn't open his studio door and spend some time with his eldest daughter in her time of loneliness, don't worry. he didn't know i was even feeling less than perfect. i didn't tell him why or that i was sad, lonely, or emotionally nauseous in the first place. trust me, if he would have know, it would have been a different story.

that's when i really met charlie. he had been given to my sister (4 years younger) on her birthday right as i was getting ready to graduate from high school, so i really only got a couple months with him before i went off to college. and because he wasn't mine, and i wasn't all that much of a 'dog person', i honestly didn't notice him as much i would have had i gotten him today.

once little one-year-old charlie snuggled up to me and sat in my lap, i was hooked. it was as if he absorbed my pain, saying everything and nothing at the same time. he was great. really great. and the rest is history, i guess.
today, charlie finally lives with us (mason and me), and he's a great roomie. he's preparing me to be a real mommy someday because he acts like a little kid. he whines and cries, he begs for things he shouldn't be able to have (like human food), and he freaks out when we are about to go on trips. suitcases actually make him throw up and go #2 in the house uncontrollably. all my years of leaving for tour caught up with me and bit me in the tush...big time. can you imagine being so excited to go on your real honeymoon to the bahamas and then realizing you can't go to sleep because your dog keeps walking on your legs in the bed trying to tell you something bad is about to happen...and then it does four times on the floor next to the bed and in the hallway... so you take him out for the hundredth time (without a leash because it's two or three in the morning) only to see him dart off to a bush....where an opossum is hissing at him...and who knows what they carry. then you take him back upstairs and try to go back to sleep all over again, only this time you think he might throw up on the bed because it's dark and he can't jump off the bed and don't actually sleep at all.

so you force yourself to try to think about everyone involved and put him down stairs into the small bathroom...with towels, water and the light on of course... and you finally get about thirty minutes of sleep. at 5:00 am, you decide you can't deal with it anymore, so you call your mom and wake her up (sorry mom) and ask her if you can go ahead and bring charlie over for the week. she says yes because a. she's the best mom ever and b. you've called her all night long telling her what was going on, so she knows the deal. you go get charlie and he's throw up and #2 free in the bathroom...which is confusing to you because you still don't know that he recognized the suitcases. you think he's sick with some bug or a reaction to food you weren't supposed to give him from the dinner table.

you drive with him in your lap and he seems just fine, which again, confuses you at a this point. he loves the car. he's growling at nothing...barking occasionally just like normal. you get to your mom dad's house and it's still dark, but by the time you get back to yours, it's light out. and you've only really slept for a full thirty minutes. and your father-in-law is coming in about an hour or so to pick you up to take you to the airport.

that's what you do for your dog...if your dog is charlie :) do you see now why i love him so much? haha but seriously. this little furry deer/fox/yorkie looking mix of a dog is one of the best souls in my life. and it all started with a need. a need he filled when i was in pain. thank you God, for my sweet bandaid. i know You sent him to fill the space.

i love you charlie huff-revelette. and even if no one ever understands just why, i do. and that's enough.

love, ashlyne